General Things not making you happy.

- CommentAuthorJosh Topic
- CommentTimeMar 22nd 2010
Why is it ridiculous? Why is it different?

And again if you continually pushed things to the limit then it doesn't sound like spanking really solved the problem
- CommentAuthorLauraTiny
- CommentTimeMar 22nd 2010
Josh Topic:Because I know that he has done what can be considered similar acts after that.

oh i thought that was a general statement.
- CommentAuthorJosh Topic
- CommentTimeMar 22nd 2010
Nope while I could assume that I know that would be a false statement to say for everyone and everything.
- CommentAuthorFaith Skeptic
- CommentTimeMar 22nd 2010
Yea really Josh, the window's I've broken and choice's I've made as an adult are in no way a reflection as to the kind of punishment I received as a kid.

As far as kid's hitting their parent's or husbands hitting wives I think the dynamic of those relationships are clearly not the same as the parent-child relationship. Even as an anarchist, I believe there to be one relationship that will always be, by necessity, an oppressive one, and that is the relationship between a parent and a child. I'm not saying oppressive in a draconian sense, but that one party has a right and responsibility to manage and direct the other. Luckily for children this oppression weakens and dissipates naturally as they grow up, unlike systematic racism or patriarchy. When it comes to kids hitting parents, there are just too many variables to cover them all with some sort of bright line rule. If it's in response to real abuse that's fine, if it's a result of their inability to express themselves in some other way then no it's not, but I can't cover all the scenario's.

As far as husbands hitting their wives, I mean if she burns the dinner or something then she has it coming, AM I RIGHT?!?!?!?!...(Honestly Josh I find this second prong so utterly ridiculous that I had to respond with an equally ridiculous stance, marriage is a partnership and when it comes to violence between equals, unless it was precipitated by her stabbing him or something, is of course it's not ok. But the difference is she's a fucking adult and hopefully, if the wife doesn't have down syndrome or something, doesn't need to be treated like a child.)
- CommentAuthorJosh Topic
- CommentTimeMar 22nd 2010
I think that is the fundamental difference in our thinking is that I agree that their is an oppresive peice in parenting but I strive to minimize that as much as possible and partner with my children instead of having them scared of me because it's a necessary evil. Just like I can find other non physical ways to communicate with my wife I expect the same from my kids and will give them the same. I don't believe the parent child relationship has to be as oppresive and top down as we were all taught it had to be
- CommentAuthorJosh Topic
- CommentTimeMar 22nd 2010
i also want to state for the record that i don't believe everyone that spanks their kid is a child abuser. Although I strongly disagree with spanking in any situation, I think there is a very different mindset and intent between folks that genuinely believe they are doing the right thing for their kid or believe it's the only or best option (this thread shows how popular that view is) and someone that intentionally hurts their children or takes it "too far". That mindset and intent makes a world of difference. I just wanted to make sure everyone knows i'm not calling any of you future child abusers because you support spanking. Although statistically quite a few of us will be child abusers.
- CommentAuthorFaith Skeptic
- CommentTimeMar 22nd 2010
I agree it doesn't have to AS oppressive as we are taught for it to be, but no matter what that is, by necessity, the structure it takes. Your children aren't your friends (yet, i hope), they are your children, one day when they are older they will be, just like my relationship with my parents.

I am in no way advocating spanking as some willy nilly means of control, in fact josh I am sure when I have kids I'll very much model my relationship with them closely to the way you describe, but, if I have a little hell-bat, need's a leash in the mall kid, I might have to pop him in the bum on occasion.
- CommentAuthorJosh Topic
- CommentTimeMar 22nd 2010
i won't claim that parenting skills 100% control how your kid acts but if you have a kid that is acting bad enough that you feel you can't handle the situation any other way than spanking them doesn't that lie on the parent too?
- CommentAuthoroccupant
- CommentTimeMar 22nd 2010
what have i started?
- CommentAuthorJosh Topic
- CommentTimeMar 22nd 2010
good job dude.....
- CommentAuthoroccupant
- CommentTimeMar 23rd 2010
josh, i agree with what you are saying, besides the anarchist structure you talked about. i could care less about that. ha.
rock on.
- CommentAuthorya basta!!!
- CommentTimeMar 23rd 2010
yeah, it is kind of moot for people without kids to talk about what they would do, but i feel like i can contribute. i was a kid with great parents who im still very close with. i have been at at least part of this relationship being discussed my whole life. Also, Occupant put up some very specific traits that someone seemed to think might come out of being spanked. I was simply stating that i dont really show any of those qualities.

More than oppressive, parents are their childrens teachers, and the "cool uncle" approach wouldnt have gone very far when i was doing really insane shit with really great consequences that i simply wasnt aware of. often times i needed to know quickly: "NO!". That means no time for a conversation, no time for a sitdown with cool papa johnnyjohn, just that i could NOT do that. that was a pop or a spanking. punishment is time sensitive, and i believe physical interaction (the way my kid will experience everything else) would be an effective way to tell him/her certain things.

I think its ridiculous to treat punishment like some sort of disengaging thing between parents and their children. ALL things in life have consequences, and thats really what makes life what it is. and while youre completely dependent on one or two people, or guarded from the real consequences while young, its up to those people shielding them to let them know what might happen when theyre on their own. sometimes, its physical, period. i think youre over protecting your kids if youre not letting them know the full realm of consequence that awaits them.
- CommentAuthorKenan
- CommentTimeMar 23rd 2010
woke up with a really shitty crick in my neck/shoulder/back. apparently i can sleep curled up on a van bench for a couple days and im fine but sleeping in a nice bed just doesnt agree with me.
- CommentAuthorJosh Topic
- CommentTimeMar 23rd 2010
ya basta!!!:i think youre over protecting your kids if youre not letting them know the full realm of consequence that awaits them.

couldn't the same thing be said that you're overprotecting your kids from giving them the opportunity to reason through things without getting you're immediate punishment?

Also, I'm curious what these situations that you're describing would be that don't allow for time to sit and reason things out? I have a 2 1/2 year old and I've never seen one yet and I have plenty of folks I know that have kids all the way through highschool and college that never ran into one of these situations either?
- CommentAuthorGarrett
- CommentTimeMar 23rd 2010
Ya Basta - dude you got a lot of beliefs that I dont agree with. But this is not one of them. I like what youre saying.
Josh - keep this in mind - when your dog pissed and pooped on your floor you talked to it, tried to reason with it - from what I understand it continued to piss and poop on your kitchen floor. Just saying. No, Im not trying to compare dog and child, just stating things.

A spanking isnt a beating. No one is dying from getting their butt whooped by their parent.
I was spanked
Im not depressed
Im not an addict
Im a cool dude who quickly learned what not to do.
I did fear my father as a child, I understood that there might be painful consequences to my actions, made me rethink some things.
I hung out with some rowdy kids growing up, the fear of a spanking kept me from getting caught up in the same BS they got into.

I am happy about where this thread went. Its fun.
- CommentAuthoroccupant
- CommentTimeMar 23rd 2010
let me just say that as far as being depressed and/or an addict, i didn't really believe that. the studies seemed kinda far fetched for me since i don't see how one could possibly come to that conclusion but since i did read about it in one of the many books i have read on parenting i just put that out there.
i was spanked. i'm probably as happy as the norm and probably down as much as the norm. i'm not an addict. i'm not as cool as garrett.
however, i still rebeled knowing i could get spanked. i goofed off a lot and did plenty of dumb shit. my dad, even though i feared him and the spankings, couldn't get through to me by spanking. i hated it and even now we don't have a very good relationship. he never sat down to tell me WHY what i was doing was wrong. just "don't do that again!" WHAM!
my choice in not spanking is from the pros and cons i've read and my own experiences.
- CommentAuthoroccupant
- CommentTimeMar 23rd 2010
this woman smoking at the park in front of my kid and getting rude because i asked her to put it out.
- CommentAuthorya basta!!!
- CommentTimeMar 23rd 2010 edited
Josh, i think there are really specific instances where sitting and reasoning just arent permitted. Hypothetically, if my dad had caught me right before/after i hucked that huge blowpop out the window and popped me, i would have known better. i was just being a kid and it fucked some trucker dudes life up probably but i couldn't have known that, my reasoning/functioning just wasnt there yet. i needed something immediate and basic at the time. I needed severe consequence as much as i needed a gentle gesture or a loving word. i think all kids do.

shitty thing is, i feel like a villain in this discussion.
- CommentAuthorya basta!!!
- CommentTimeMar 23rd 2010
and Occupant, a word of advice about smoker mcgillicutty- just spank her.
- CommentAuthoroccupant
- CommentTimeMar 23rd 2010
ya basta!!!:and Occupant, a word of advice about smoker mcgillicutty- just spank her.

funny thing is she looked like the type of woman that enjoys that. bare bottom.
- CommentAuthorKenan
- CommentTimeMar 24th 2010
girlfriend sent the itouch through the wash...damnit
- CommentAuthorRoby
- CommentTimeMar 24th 2010
ya basta!!!:and Occupant, a word of advice about smoker mcgillicutty- just spank her.

awesome. also I agree with Garrett. I love the thread within a thread.
- CommentAuthorJosh Topic
- CommentTimeMar 24th 2010
Garrett:Ya Basta - dude you got a lot of beliefs that I dont agree with. But this is not one of them. I like what youre saying.
Josh - keep this in mind - when your dog pissed and pooped on your floor you talked to it, tried to reason with it - from what I understand it continued to piss and poop on your kitchen floor. Just saying. No, Im not trying to compare dog and child, just stating things.

A spanking isnt a beating. No one is dying from getting their butt whooped by their parent.
I was spanked
Im not depressed
Im not an addict
Im a cool dude who quickly learned what not to do.
I did fear my father as a child, I understood that there might be painful consequences to my actions, made me rethink some things.
I hung out with some rowdy kids growing up, the fear of a spanking kept me from getting caught up in the same BS they got into.

I am happy about where this thread went. Its fun.

I think bringing up the example of my dogs is a perfect example of what i'm talking about. While it might not be as an immediate of an effect my dogs do not shit and piss on the floor anymore. They are pretty damn well behaved dogs that don't have crazy attitude freak out problems from getting yelled at and hit. Shit my daughters can pinch and step on them all day and they won't even think of snapping at them. I made a desicion that i was willing to take a route that required more dedication and time than just hitting and yelling at them. Truth is it could have gone a lot faster than it did but i really didn't give them the attention they needed back then and that is on me not them.
- CommentAuthorJosh Topic
- CommentTimeMar 24th 2010
ya basta!!!:Josh, i think there are really specific instances where sitting and reasoning just arent permitted. Hypothetically, if my dad had caught me right before/after i hucked that huge blowpop out the window and popped me, i would have known better. i was just being a kid and it fucked some trucker dudes life up probably but i couldn't have known that, my reasoning/functioning just wasnt there yet. i needed something immediate and basic at the time. I needed severe consequence as much as i needed a gentle gesture or a loving word. i think all kids do.

shitty thing is, i feel like a villain in this discussion.

How old were you when this happened? My daughter is 2 1/2 and i can reason with her to understand that throwing a lollipop out the window at oncoming traffic is not a good idea. It might take more of my time to sit down and talk through it with her but she gets it. Also, as a parent if your kid is too much of a hellion that you can't trust them with the windows down they make window locks for a reason......
- CommentAuthorLeviFaustian
- CommentTimeMar 24th 2010
Josh Topic:
ya basta!!!:Josh, i think there are really specific instances where sitting and reasoning just arent permitted. Hypothetically, if my dad had caught me right before/after i hucked that huge blowpop out the window and popped me, i would have known better. i was just being a kid and it fucked some trucker dudes life up probably but i couldn't have known that, my reasoning/functioning just wasnt there yet. i needed something immediate and basic at the time. I needed severe consequence as much as i needed a gentle gesture or a loving word. i think all kids do.

shitty thing is, i feel like a villain in this discussion.

How old were you when this happened? My daughter is 2 1/2 and i can reason with her to understand that throwing a lollipop out the window at oncoming traffic is not a good idea. It might take more of my time to sit down and talk through it with her but she gets it. Also, as a parent if your kid is too much of a hellion that you can't trust them with the windows down they make window locks for a reason......

It can depend from child to child, maybe Ya Basta wasn't quite at that stage yet at two and a half.
I'm not entirely sure how old he is but maybe window locks weren't installed in their vehicle yet.

I would say that spanking in the previous context that ya basta spoke of is the best way to discipline a child.
I would also say that any other object other than a hand is too much. A full grown adult can get the point across with an open hand to any child.
- CommentAuthorKoger
- CommentTimeMar 24th 2010
you also have the opportunity to run into kids like me, who required a serious amount of structure and a constant set of consequences i could depend on. losing TV privileges, being grounded, or having a discussion about why i shouldn't do something just didn't do much to deter me. the best things my parents did for me? always presenting a united front, never arguing where i could see or hear them, being my parents and not my friends, and always making sure i knew there was an escalating level of consequence based on my escalating level of misbehavior, my father's belt being the very top of that train.
- CommentAuthorMaxsilver
- CommentTimeMar 30th 2010
HOW IM WATCHING THE SECOND SEASON OF TRUE BLOOD AND THE ONLY GOOD CHARACTER OTHER THAN LAFAYETTE IN THE WHOLE GODDAMN SERIES DIES FOR NO APPARENT FUCKING REASON.

so mad right now.
- CommentAuthorNO
- CommentTimeMar 30th 2010
what you don't like SOOOOOOOKKKKKKIIIIIEEEEE?
- CommentAuthorMaxsilver
- CommentTimeMar 30th 2010
lafayette and godric all the way.
- CommentAuthoroccupant
- CommentTimeMar 31st 2010
obama decided to expand offshore drilling. i thought obama was a democrat?
- CommentAuthorandy mcGEE
- CommentTimeMar 31st 2010
There aren't that many differences between Obama and Bush. Hopefully that is apparent by now.
- CommentAuthoroccupant
- CommentTimeApr 2nd 2010
andy mcGEE:There aren't that many differences between Obama and Bush. Hopefully that is apparent by now.

correction, there isn't very many difference between the democrats and republicans.
- CommentAuthorandy mcGEE
- CommentTimeApr 3rd 2010
Not making me happy: I only had enough cash to pay for 2 nights backcountry permit. Wanted to stay for 3.
Shucks.
- CommentAuthorBeeson
- CommentTimeApr 6th 2010
i have something in both my eyes
- CommentAuthorBeeson
- CommentTimeApr 6th 2010
dang, this sucks too. FCC lost the net-neutrality case
->link<-
- CommentAuthorLauraTiny
- CommentTimeApr 7th 2010
Beeson:i have something in both my eyes

ughhh this kills me worse than Bambi. Such a great movie though.
- CommentAuthorLeviFaustian
- CommentTimeApr 7th 2010
No lie, Up is the only movie ever that caused me to cry.
- CommentAuthorKoger
- CommentTimeApr 7th 2010 edited
Beeson:dang, this sucks too. FCC lost the net-neutrality case
->link<-

i agree, between that and the supreme court ruling on campaign contributions from corporations i'm real bummed this year.
- CommentAuthorAndrewski
- CommentTimeApr 8th 2010
My Djembe literally splitting in two pieces at Chapel tonight is really bumming me out
- CommentAuthorTravis
- CommentTimeApr 8th 2010
Andrewski:My Djembe literally splitting in two pieces at Chapel tonight is really bumming me out

sounds like a bad omen to me.
- CommentAuthorChrisDBS
- CommentTimeApr 8th 2010
Stupid drama with my recent ex girlfriend. Always trying to make me seem like the bad guy.

Shit's whatever though.

Also, not having ordered my Breast Fest ticket yet. I neeeeed to get on that.
- CommentAuthorRoby
- CommentTimeApr 8th 2010
Didn't request off Saturday for Breast Fest because I haven't been scheduled on a Saturday for about 7 weeks. Now all of a sudden I'm scheduled for a 13 hour day. Lame.
- CommentAuthormathematical palette
- CommentTimeApr 8th 2010
Pink eye caused by allergies. Super lame.
- CommentAuthorLeviFaustian
- CommentTimeApr 9th 2010
Andrewski:My Djembe literally splitting in two pieces at Chapel tonight is really bumming me out

How do you split one of those?

Was it older? Or just getting really into the music? Used a hammer.
- CommentAuthorAndrewski
- CommentTimeApr 9th 2010
I actually wasn't even playing it when it broke, the bottom half completely separated from the top half - at the "neck," if you will.
- CommentAuthortylerFPI
- CommentTimeApr 10th 2010
Glenn Beck
- CommentAuthorBeeson
- CommentTimeApr 10th 2010
tylerFPI:Glenn Beck

permanent on the list
- CommentAuthorJamieCTA
- CommentTimeApr 11th 2010
my back hates me after staining the entire deck today. Used brushes instead of rollers or sprayers because it gets in the wood better imo. But, man will I be sore tomorrow.
- CommentAuthorandy mcGEE
- CommentTimeApr 11th 2010
Such a sour ending to breastfest. Death before dishonors vocalist walked around calling everyone "faggots" and "fagtards". Then, when death threat was setting up, he sat on stage and made gay jokes. What a waste.
- CommentAuthortylerFPI
- CommentTimeApr 13th 2010
Wendys no longer serves Cheerwine....

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General Things not making you happy.