You ask for a hamburger, I give you a hamburger. You raise it to your lips and take a bite. Your eye twitches involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. I give you a hamburger. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. You cannot swallow. There are children at the top of the stairs. A pickle shifts uneasily under the bun. I give you a hamburger. You look at my face, and I am pleading with you. The children are crying now. You raise the hamburger to your lips, tears stream down your face as you take a bite. I give you a hamburger. You are on your knees. You plead with me to go across the street. I hear only children's laughter. I give you a hamburger. You are screaming as you fall down the stairs. I am your child. You cannot see anything. You take a bite of the hamburger. The concrete rushes up to meet you. You awake with a start in your own bed. Your eye twitches involuntarily. I give you a hamburger. As you kill me, I do not make a sound. I give you a hamburger. You asked me for a hamburger, and I gave you a raccoon. You asked me for a hamburger, but it turns out I don't really exist. Where I was originally standing, a picture of a hamburger rests on the ground. You awake as a hamburger. You start screaming only to have special sauce fly from your lips. The world is in sepia. Why are we speaking German? A mime cries softly as he cradles a young cow. Your grandfather stares at you as the cow falls apart into patties. You look down only to see me with pickles for eyes, I am singing the song that gives birth to the universe. You ask for a hamburger. All the molecules in the universe have shifted one inch to the left. The hamburger asks for you. Somehow you have appeared in the rain forest. You start awake sweating in your own bed. I give you a hamburger. Shrieking, you stagger into the road in a daze. You ask for a hamburger. The ambulance does not arrive in time. You ask for a hamburger. I give you a hamburger. As you take a bite you notice ants all over your skin. You ask for a hamburger. The children cry over their father's dead body. You ask for a hamburger. You are blind, but you can feel the worms writhing in your stomach. I am your father. I give you a hamburger. You giggle as I stumble. I ask for a hamburger, you give me a hamburger. You awake with a start in your own bed. I give you a hamburger. The wizened meat explodes to dust and you realize eons have passed and you are alone in a desolate waste. You awake screaming. I give you a hamburger.

lol wut

You ask me for a hamburger.

My attempt to reciprocate is cut brutally short as my body experiences a sudden lack of electrons.

Across a variety of hidden dimensions you are dismayed. John Lennon hands me an apple, but it slips through my fingers.

I am reborn as an ocelot.

You disapprove. A crack echoes through the universe in defiance of

conventional physics as cosmological background noise shifts from randomness to a perfect A Flat. Children

everywhere stop what they are doing and hum along in perfect pitch with the background radiation. Birds

fall from the sky as the sun engulfs the earth. You hesitate momentarily before allowing yourself to assume

the locus of all knowledge. Entropy crumbles as you peruse the information contained within the universe. A

small library in Phoenix ceases to exist. You stumble under the weight of everythingness, Your mouth opens

up to cry out, and collapses around your body before blinking you out of the spatial plane. You exist only

within the fourth dimension. The fountainhead of all knowledge rolls along the ground and collides with a

small dog. My head tastes sideways as spacetime is reestablished, you blink back into the corporeal world

disoriented, only for me to hand you a hamburger as my body collapses under the strain of reconstitution.

The universe has reasserted itself. A particular small dog is fed steak for the rest of its natural life.

You die in a freak accident moments later, and you soul works at the returns desk for the Phoenix library.

You disapprove. Your disapproval sends ripples through the inter-dimensional void between life and death. A

small child begins to cry as he walks toward the stairway where his father stands.

if you can hear me guest, get out of my head

Me, David, and Designer just sat and read that and now we are currently trying to reconstruct our brains. I think David is in a coma and Designer is murmuring to himself incessently. And I am dead, but have been reanimated (Z-Day btw) and am crying tears of orange juice.

i'd gladly pay you tuesday for a hamburger today

we got a winner. I said weeeee got a winner. we got a winner! our next winner is that delightful personality, straight from brighton beach brooklyn, please give a juicy welcome to travis!

juice by travis, juice by travis, juice by travis, OOOOOOOOOOOOHtravis got juice, travis got juice, OOOOOOH travis!

Beeson:we got a winner. I said weeeee got a winner. we got a winner! our next winner is that delightful personality, straight from brighton beach brooklyn, please give a juicy welcome to travis!

juice by travis, juice by travis, juice by travis, OOOOOOOOOOOOHtravis got juice, travis got juice, OOOOOOH travis!

Man, that movie was so much sadder after not watching it for 4 years.

mathematical palette:Man, that movie was so much sadder after not watching it for 4 years.

truth. it hits you in a different way kinda

ey wood lie to buy a damburgah

That is fucking amazing.

Lol.

Nick@Nite wrote this masterpiece.